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Why I Write 03 10 2010

Why I Write 03 10 2010




My Grandmother (Nee Isabel Roth) was diagnosed with the “where all one mind” illness when she was about 40 years old.


My father, mother, sister and I would visit her at the Marshfield Clinic. She had a tremor in her jaw and her tongue would stick out and her mouth was often dry. We would sit there with her on the front yard of a clinic, where there was a swinging park bench. As we sat I would see an old man with a self contained leer riding around on an adult sized tricycle.


Sitting there with her I realized she was a gentle kind lady. There was an aura of love that surrounded her; even a boy’s will be boy’s type of boy could feel it.


She was compelled to utter these words as best she could through her dry mouth. “I’m the Queen; I’m the Queen” she would repeat. Trying not to stare, I did not know what to think of this. I could see something about her that did not seem crazy.


She would ask for things for my father to bring to her on the next visit like a comb or a watch. And she would emphatically say, “There’s money in the bank. There’s money in the bank. There’s money in the bank.” Her mouth would move as if someone was trying to prevent her from talking. I now know she had the same problem thinking.


She was a little gal made skinnier from the affliction. When we left her and went back to Milwaukee I would worry that that guy on the tricycle or some man in the white coat might take advantage of her. One time I made my mother ask her this and she laughed earnestly and said, “No.”


Knowing that this disease runs in families, I tried as best I could to prepare myself for it if it were to strike me later in life. In addition to my business school classes in college I took as many psychology courses as possible.


She was always writing things on little pieces of paper. Things that made sense to her but nobody else understood them. I thought in the same manner as she did when I was young. I knew about things but not how to explain their complexity. And I am sure what she knew could be explained if she were able to clear her head or if the knowledge were available to her to comprehend them better. I vowed that when I wrote it would be meaningful and understandable, or not worth doing.


About that Queen she thought she was. I was interested in my lineage, particularly because of her and because I was very good at picking winning takeover stocks when I was in college. I wondered if there was any basis for this. My father told me that a lot of Rothschild’s changed their names to Roth when they came into this country from Germany in the late eighteen hundreds and early nineteen hundreds. I read a book on the Rothschild’s the Jewish bankers. It turns out that they made a large banking investment on the outcome of a war they could not have possibly known on a factual basis and won that bet.


My Grandmother wasn’t the Queen of Franks but our ancestry does indeed go back to the Queen of Franks, one of the earliest Nobility of Germany. I am not, per my research, part of the lineage descending from the Rothschild banking family.


Isabel was never respected by her family and forced to do work on the farm where they had nicknames of animals for each other. I thought of this the other day when I was in church. There was a little girl sitting with her family in the front row. She was disrupting the mass and wouldn’t stop talking loudly. At that age a child thinks they are more important than anyone else in the world. This does not happen as often as I like, when a child is misbehaving in public, but finally her father picked her up and cradled her to his chest and walked back to the back of church where we could no longer hear her. All the way back she was screaming, “I won’t stop talking! I won’t stop talking! I won’t stop talking!”


I won’t stop writing.


Thomas Paul Murphy


Copyright 2010 Thomas Paul Murphy

Log On’s Run 10 20 2010

Log On’s Run 10 20 2010



Some people are stuck in small towns and say, “If I could only get our or here.” Some people are stuck in big cities and say, “If I could only get or of here.”


If we listed the reasons why we are not happy where we are and boiled them down I bet they would have many things in common I say somewhat dishonestly to myself as I long for the day to lift that manhole cover away and discover a world that is green and beautiful.






Thomas Paul Murphy


Copyright 2010 Thomas Paul Murphy


Was “Logon’s Run” a neophyte homonym of the Time Lord Race?

The Son of Man 09 19 2010

The Son of Man 09 19 2010

Once upon a time in the early history of man one ape man was different instead of spending time throwing about and killing the ape sons of the women in his group he took them under his wing.  After saving them he stood up on two legs and was very proud.  He pranced around like this for awhile to let all the other apes that he was proud of what he did and they should be proud if they did the same thing. In the early vocabulary of ape-man this ape became known as the Son of Man.  All other male apes up to that time were raised by the females of the ape tribe.  Son of man then often stood up on two legs so that he could spot the actions of other apes from a distance.  This sent a message to other apes in the tribe that he stood ready to protect them from danger and they came to view him as their Savior. 

Son of man was different in that he actually had a father of strong spirit that cared for him.  “Father” taught Son of Man many things, how to make tools and use tools.  What were the best foods to eat, how to think, how to form reason and rationalize.  How to organize and lead other apes through example, how to get along with other apes of different tribes, how to help those in need, how to stick up for the weaker tribe members.

Every ape seemed to look up to the son of man ape.  When other apes were in danger from foreign animals Son of Man always stood before them to face the danger.  That was just the nature of Son of Man as they called him.  He was indeed righteous without even knowing that he was. 

 God in heaven was so proud of what his creation had become he had gave him limited powers to control the natural world.  In fact Son of Man did not know but the natural world did revolve around him.  When Son of Man became angry the heavens then too became angry.  The world followed in the son of mans footsteps.

But one day Son of Man started to have difficulties.  In turns out that Sons of Women- that is sons that were raised and strongly influenced by women, started to become jealous and envious of Son of Man.  These Sons of Ape woman sought to destroy Son of Man in every way possible.  They tried to kill him many times.  Sons and daughters raised by ape women hated Son of Man as they compared themselves to him and did not like the comparison.  Therefore they sought to do   everything they could to lessen their negative comparison to Son of Man.   They even went about calling themselves Gods in an effort to make themselves and Son of Man believe in their jealous delusion. 

Ape Woman indeed felt that she was the spirit of creation and not Son of Man and she set about to prove it.

The daughters of ape women sought to tempt him to ruin, in every way possible.  They sabotaged everything he did in an effort to betray his confidence in himself.  They too thought they could in some way harness his power.  But they were never able to and the world suffered because the more they tried to lesson Son of Man the more God loved him.  Every time they tried to ruin Son of Man God struck back at them in untold and poetic ways.

They tried to make Son of Man feel guilty for every action and thought in his life.  The Ape Women taught their daughters and then sons also to fixate on every action of Son of Man.

Son of Ape Women thought that if they were to torture Son of Man and give him great angst they would be able to splinter off some of the almighty power and beauty that God had bestowed to Son of Man, power and beauty that Son of Man never asked for.   What they never were able to realize through their haze of self imposed jealousy that Son of Man was blessed for his actions early in life and that God did not reward the others for their illegitimate efforts.  God knew the souls of each of his creatures and knew their intent.  They did not know of this either as they acted in spite and jealousy to Son of Man.  Never did they figure out for themselves that they needed to think for themselves and consciously form their own ideas of right and wrong.  And that only after suffering by trying and thinking for themselves would they be redeemed in the eyes of God.  It was just that simple but they were never able to figure it out for themselves.  By the comparison they that were indoctrinated with kin of Ape Woman always felt themselves less than Son of Man.  If they ever did a good dead they were always sure that Son of Man knew about it.  God judged them therefore that they did not to do good deeds for good deeds sake.  But only to try and convince the Son of Man that they were better at doing good deeds.  God knew that good deeds should be done for good deeds sake and sometimes were self sacrificing; he knew this was never the true nature of Son of Ape Woman.  All through their lives and that of their progeny they never had the proper intent to do good deeds.

The progeny of Ape Woman even held themselves out as the righteous ones.  Son of Man was somewhat lessoned in his self confidence and power of self because of this.  Because Son of Man cared for others their actions of aggression against him hurt his feelings of self. 

Because they were raised in competition to Son of Man they eventually got so jealous of Son of Man that they sought to kill him once and for all.  They could not stand to be the same image of Son of Man a reflection of themselves they had come to hate.

Sons and daughters of ape women tried to imagine him in dangers and deeds of great peril and Ape Woman sought to destroy Son of Man through spells. God heard their spells against Son of Man and put his Son of Man to the test by allowing them to put Son of Man to the test of their spells.  Their spells against Son of Man did indeed lesson Son of Man further. 

Sons of Ape Women knew that their spells were indeed being put into reality against Son of Man they could see how he was put in situations of great peril according to their will and suffered greatly as a result of them.  What they did not know was that God was really putting Ape Woman and her progeny to the test.

And so Ape Women and her progeny where put to the test unknowingly throughout their history.  All this time because of their intent and actions they remained Ape Women.  They suffered a paucity of thought because they Love was never their true intent in life and they were defined by their envy and self hatred.

Attrition weakened Son of Man to the point where he could die.  Not a one of the other ape men who had come to stand up on two legs like he did stood by his side.  Not a one stood by his side in unity for what he stood for when the hour was nigh.  Son of Man did not understand why they acted the way they did towards him.  Through the ages God saw all this happening and watched how creation would treat such an image of himself.   The question was would God allow those who persecuted his image to exist?  Would God allow those who tormented his likeness on earth to rein forever?  God identified with Son of Man in his struggle through life greatly.  One day God said, “I cannot stand in judgment of this world any longer I will take earthly form in completeness with Son of Man and leave it up to the will of all that I have created and not myself to decide the fate of all that I created.”  God himself could no longer decide the fate of his creations.  He would become one with them in being with Son of Man.

Neither the progeny of Ape Woman nor Son of Man ever caught on that this had happened.

Son of Man and God in One sought to procreate but ape woman instructed her progeny not to allow it.  They sought to make him disgusted with women.  Son of Man and God in one became sad with his seemingly imperfections of creation.  No woman ape would love Son of Man.  It was against the code Ape Woman had taught them.

One day progeny of ape woman ganged up on the Son of Man and God in one.  The now weakened Son of Man and the spirit of creation were destroyed.  It took awhile but the world absent and devoid of the spirit of creation, that it had destroyed slowly came apart and disintegrated along with the entire universe and everything.  The progeny of Ape Woman suffered in agony in their final days just as they had made the Son of Man suffer, but only worse in his absence.  After the Son of Man died they lived wretched lives of horror, each other then became the object of their destruction in the absence of Son of Man.  They had never learned any other way in life other than prayers of destruction.  Having never learned any other way they were never able to teach any better way.  The dark forces of destruction they preached consumed them and the infinite existence that the Son of Man had created.  Through all of infinite eternity that followed their wretched souls moaned in pain for misery they felt.  And each heard the others pain and suffering.  Misery did not love company in this void.  Misery made misery worse.  Their disembodied spirits never once considered what they had done to Son of Man.  They never regretted what they had done to the spirit of creation. They never once had atonement for the spirit of creation.  They never once realized they would have never existed if not for the spirit of creation.

They created the perfect trap for their souls of destruction, to escape they only had to feel guilt and then will or pray that Son of Man would return.   A trap they would never through eternity have the means of escaping from.  And that is how the world ended.

 Son of Man and the spirit of creation had believed the spirit of his creations would ultimately save creation.  The creations of the unified Son of Man failed him and all of all creation fell victim to the destructive willful spirit of Ape Woman and her progeny.   It was all of creation that was to come apart to its most minute elements never to be reformed.

God Bless Those Who Think For Themselves

Thomas Paul Murphy

Copyright 2010 Thomas Paul Murphy

Originally published on 10 08 2010 at:

http://selectedwriting.blogspot.com/

How to Ask a Good Question

How to Ask a Good Question 03 13 2010

In this Thursday morning’s edition Investor’s Business Daily newspaper there was a quotation from W. Edwards Deming, a management consultant, the quote on the topic of learning. The quote reads, “If you do not know how to ask the right question, you discover nothing.” I decided to take this issue by the horns and write essay today, that has a few points regarding asking good questions.

Always think this before asking, “Do you know the answer already?”

Is your question one with a common sense answer or does what you want to know contradict with something you know already and you need a clarification?

Has the person talking to you drawn a verbal path to let you know the answer will be forthcoming, if so wait and do not interrupt.

Has the person talking indicated to you that you might have a question and they know the answer, by giving a visual cue such as a pause or smile, then it might be the appropriate time to ask the question.

Have you given them enough time to talk so that they look like they are starting on another topic and they have left an issue of concern to you glossed over, where clarity to all listening is needed.

Do you feel they have made a mistake in what they said, if so ask for clarification in a way so as not condescending to them. Often people make errors of oversight when speaking. If you recognize this, it is your duty to ask for clarification. Do you think what they said is the opposite of what they should have said? Then ask.

When with a new teacher, there will not be a comfortable repoire established yet. Do not ask in a way to discredit them, consider writing your question down, when it occurs to you and asking it at the end of class, if it hasn’t been clarified. Often by doing this you will see whether your question is still a valid one or not. Meaning has it been answered from their continued talking and the answer “sits right” with you. Do this also if you feel you have been labeled as asking stupid questions in the past, this post analysis will help you ask better questions.

When asking a question, often take the attitude someone else might want to know the answer to that question also. But before asking these types of questions think harder.

And there is a way to ask a rhetorical question without being insulting, do this by asking more of a leading question. Leading questions are good.

Often you can tell you have asked a good question because it will put your professor on a roll, talking, and much is learned from the storytelling experience.

If you once asked a dumb question or got that kind of response from the one you asked it to, learn how to ask better questions and try again.

Have you prepared for class and should have known this answer or does your question address contradictions in teachings that need to be resolved.

Finally, don’t ask self serving questions, or arrogant ones. In the Star Trek series, “Star Trek The Next Generation”, there was a character an all powerful deity or God named Q. His name Q, being a metaphor for Question, and he did ask them. Albeit menacing ones, as the answers to his questions often led to a situation of Pandora for the Enterprise and its crew. Q imposed a resulting fate based on the answer. Was he a deity because he asked good questions? Should the Captain of the Enterprise said just once, “That is the dumbest question I’ve ever heard.” and saved himself from the further impact of these questions that put him and his crew in a fateful quandary? Or did Q’s questions lead to a greater learning experience for the outer space explorers.

In today’s political environment, the good questions aren’t being asked to those opposing change, here would be a good place for Q to start asking.

Copyright 2010 Thomas Paul Murphy

Philos on Learning

Philos of Learning 10 22 2009

In order to prevent we have to understand fully.

In order to understand fully we have to learn.

The essence of learning is forming new beliefs.

In order to form new beliefs we have to accept that we don’t know everything already.

This means subduing our egos.

To accept that we are last and not first while listening.

Copyright 2009 Thomas Paul Murphy

The Code

The Code 02 27 2010

I call this one the code but it could also be called the nature of responsibility.

Drinking and partying are more prevalent when you are in High School and College. What do you do when your friends become obnoxious and start trouble by insulting strangers at bars? One of my less obnoxious friends once told me, "You always backup a friend." I disagreed, “If a friend is drawing you into trouble with them, are they truly your friend?" .

In my younger days I was tougher than my friends and developed a secret code of conduct to keep everyone out of trouble.

If a friend causes trouble that leads to a fight, when you tried to stop them, it's their trouble. The best you can do is to protect your friend defensively. Then get both of you out of there.

If you cause trouble, do not expect anyone else to fight your fight. You caused it, it is your responsibility. Would you be a good friend to your friends if they were drawn in and got badly hurt? As the bible says, "You have to walk that road alone."

If someone else causes trouble with your friend first, stand your ground and try and scare them off. If trouble keeps brewing get your friend and walk slowly and straight by the trouble makers without looking at them, they are not worthy of that. If you do look at them, look them straight in the eye and back it up with a feeling that the world does not deserve that, coupled with it. It is okay to show a little righteous strength as you walk by. If you have to defend your friend in a defensive manner as best you can.

When you and your friend are out of trouble confront him and talk sternly to them. In high school I confronted a friend who was much bigger than I, and said, “I’m not going to put up with that.” All he could say back was, "I'm tired of your meaningless threats." Repetition paid off, and his behavior changed for the better.

If your friend gives you all the free beer you could ever drink, are they really your friend? If they get you into drugs or involved with bad people they are exactly the opposite of your friend.

If you no longer want to be a friend tell them why. What the behavior was you didn’t like, years later they will be thankful for this.

This article was meant for college students but I am finding it is relevant to gangs also. Without rules of conduct you are no better than a gang member who will likely have a miserably shortened life with a violent ending. Gangs ruin for themselves, the very communities in which they live in. People join gangs out of fear. Fear of growing up and being a responsible adult. Fear of losing pro wrestler self image of greatness that isn't true. As a boy becomes a man this ego naturally lessons. It is part of maturation. This does not mean you should not assert opinions when you think you are right. Just the opposite is true, you learn to listen to others and still assert what you think is right. And if you find you are wrong, accept that you are wrong; this is the heart of learning.

About fifteen years ago Al Pacino once said on a late night talk show that his mother kept him in the house and would not let him play with street gang members who were are all incidentally dead or in prison.

The complacent group behavior, whether seen in college students drinking or gang members, is for boy's who can’t stand on their own, or for themselves, not for men. It is the way of the coward. It is detrimental to society as a whole not just you.

It’s hard to find good friends, let’s keep the ones we have out of trouble.

Copyright 2010 Thomas Paul Murphy

The Broken Camera

The Broken Camera 03 10 2010

When I was a boy we had a Kodak Instamatic camera we used to sparingly take pictures with on vacations. It took rolls of film that were expensive to us.

A bully at school, we’ll call him Beasil, got one of those new slim Kodak cameras for his birthday. It was better because it took a cartridge of film and you didn’t have to worry about ruining the whole roll of film from exposure because it was always mostly in the cartridge.

I thought I could take pictures. I had to have one too, so I got one also, a Kodak but one model number better than his. I think mine had a flash that used batteries and slid on the end of it.

James Bond movies were a big draw to us in the 70’s and we all thought we were international spies with our small rectangular Minox shaped cameras. Minox was the spy camera James Bond used to take pictures of intelligence documents in the nick of time and to the evasion of capture.

I showed mine to Beasil one day at school and he fumbled around with it for awhile and either he dropped it or I was so nervous about letting him look and breaking that I accidently dropped it when I got it back. Something was loose inside it and it did not work anymore. I could never tell my parents and when I did I got bawling out good that lingered for a long time.

I was always under the impression that I could fix it myself. Because I am a fix it myself type of person and have always had that ability. But I took it apart and two springs sprang out every which way and I could not put it back together. So in pieces I put it in a shoebox and stored it on a shelf in my bedroom closet. Every so often I would grab that box while cleaning the closet and here the parts rattling around inside open the lid look inside and quickly close it again. It sat in that box until I was 39 years old and with much apprehension regarding photography bought a Cannon digital camera. No expensive film to worry about and a good strong lense.

After my brief 29 year learning through angst hiatus from photography I started taking pictures again and was told that I have photographic talent. And everybody does indeed love my pictures.

My third Camera is a Cannon Rebel XSI and I have three nice lenses that interchange with its body.

And that Beasil who allegedly dropped my first camera is a photographer for a major department store.

Copyright 2010 Thomas Paul Murphy

Originally Published on 03 10 2010 at  http://www.selectedwritings.blogspot.com/

Jibber Jabber, Slibber Slabber, She Liked to Hop and Skip and Hippidy Dip 07 16 2010

Jibber Jabber, Slibber Slabber, She Liked to Hop and Skip and Hippidy Dip 07 16 2010



Morton had just dropped his mother off at the physical therapist. There had been rain lately and the weather was hot, in the nineties. There was a park not far away where Morton could finish his coffee and read the paper and maybe do a little writing.


A single lane road led down to the parking lot by the river. There was no boat launch there but Morton thought if they were to put a boat ramp in cars would have trouble coming and going down the single lane road. And it would not be easy place to back up a boat with a trailer on it to provide leeway.


Morton parked the car in the shadiest spot close to the river. He could not see the river because there were yards of forestry between him and the river. He had the front windows open and leaned back the seat to take a little knap or rest as it where. As soon as he did this a four door sedan pulled in and parked closer to the river than him.


There was a suspicious looking man in the car next to him. If he didn’t know any better he would think he might be some kind of criminal. His car had a bad lifter noise and a rattle in the air conditioning compressor. Morton leaned back in his seat and said very loud, “Turn that shit off.”

Morton then a little disturbed that someone is starting to ruin his rest looked over at the driver as mean as he could. Then Morton eased back in his seat and rested some more.


Another car then pulled in between Morton and the shady character, looked at Morton and then backed out and parked on the other side of the lot. This man had a bald head. Morton eased back and rested some more. He then heard the car door of the first car close and looked up to size up the fellow. He was tall of reasonable build; he had a grubby beard, and dark sunglasses. His skin was mustard colored and Morton knew he could take him if he had to. Morton watched him walk to the river and thought nothing of it.


The driver’s seat on Morton’s 2001 Buick Regal could recline pretty far. And one could nap pretty well. Morton glanced up and saw the man return and get in his car. That son of bitch started up the engine again. “Don’t these low class people of this day and age know how to keep a car properly maintained?” Morton thought as he heard the groaning engine.

Morton’s feet were getting hot so he opened the door and took off his shoes and socks. He shut the door and stretched out his legs forward, much better he thought. As he sat there with bare feet he thought. “You know I have my gym bag with me, it has a towel in it, and it also has my $3 orange colored rubber sandals in it. By golly Morton you ought to go walk about and find a place to lie down in the sun on the grass like you see people do in parks and on the beach.”

Morton now saw the bald head man approach the car on his left. He didn’t care to let this detract from his afternoon. If it was a drug deal what could he do, make a citizen’s arrest. He probably should have a gun to do this, but like MacGyver he did not believe in hand guns. If those two men had a gay rendezvous what the heck was he supposed to do about that also.
So a little more perturbed about the noisy engine next to him and figuring that he might be smelling exhaust smoke he decided to rummage through his gym bag and find the towel. He found the towel his sandals and a car blanket in the trunk. He gathered up these items plus his morning’s newspaper and his writing papers that were enclosed in the clipboard that had a compartment for them. He also grabbed his digital camera and stripped off his fleck camo tank top. Morton’s chest muscles were as big as a baboons and he often liked to hunt this ancestral way. It was hot.


Morton then made his way to the river. His sandals went flip, flop, flip, flop with every step. When he got in front of the four door sedan he gave the driver a pronounced look that would scare the living shit out of a ghost. And made his way flip, flop, flip, flop. When he got to the river he watched it for a little while. The water had risen from the rain and was shit colored brown. It looked like a spot people might like to fish at, where he was standing. Actually per his memory he had seen people fishing there before. He knew that if he put his blanket down by the river the stench, however so subtle would make him sick. So he kept heading south, flip, flop, flip, flop was the sound his sandals made as the heels of them flapped back up to his heals as walked through the grass. There was a path that led along the river and went into some forestry. He decided to take it. All of a sudden he decided to take a look back, before he could not see the parking lot anymore. Both the cars were now gone.


Morton walked through marsh grasses like he might see far away from the city. There were little pools of water on the path he walked around by stepping on some tall grasses. As he looked towards the river there were more pools of water and the upcroppings of a few trees that had fallen years ago and now had some good blackened rot to them.

The path became grassy and almost disappeared. There was a clearing of tall grasses to his right and he thought, if those were nice short green grass that would be a nice place to catch some sun and peace and quiet. Flip flop his orange sandals tread over thistles, they did not bother Morton. He figured if it was put on this earth he could be in harmony with it. Besides thistle was often a remedy for allergy anyway, in fact Morton took some thistle herb capsules at night to help him sleep.

Flip flop as Morton’s path around the tall grass clearing started to turn right he decided to take a picture of the scenery. He stood and stared a minute. By looking at the scenery now, for all he knew he could be in hunting grounds far away from the city. At this particular spot there was no sign of civilization at all.

Flip, flop he continued. As he tried to encircle a pool of water in the path his foot sunk down in the water and dirt. He thought he should probably wash it off right away and then he thought that pool water could be nowhere as bad as the shit brown water in the river. So path water he thought to himself was not as bad, as he felt the coolness of it on his right foot.


He walked a little further and looked down to see a feather from Blue Jay on the path. The feather had a black herringbone outline with the royal looking blue filling in the gaps. It might contain germs he thought before its beauty compelled him to pick it up and place it under the clip of his board.


The path came out by the parks maintenance shack and he could see the parking lot again. There was the same black man with bald head and younger black woman sitting on the park bench in the distance. Morton surveyed the park and headed west, just at the edge of the forestry was a nice grassy spot under a large tree. It was sunny in that spot and he could put the tree between himself and the parking lot. So that is what he did.


He looked around and back at the parking lot, a SUV had just parked and another bald head man was getting out and walking around cagily. The same rules that applied to the first applied to him.


He laid down his car blanket and his damp gym towel near the head of where he would lay and laid down.


At first the heat of the sun caused him to sweat a little. Then that subsided. The ground under him was firm, and Morton and the earth were one. Morton summoned the energy of the honest earth into his body and him and the earth became one. He stretched back his arms as he lay and inhaled deeply. His chest rose high as he inhaled. He controlled his deep breathing as his massive lungs bellowed naturally upward a few inches upon inhalation and he held it there for a few moments to recharge himself and the earth before he took another breath.


Morton just started to enjoy the heat of the sun when he heard a black man near the maintenance shack jibber jawing about this and that. He thought he heard him say in the near distance, “I’m gonna mow me lawn or chop something up.” He assumed it was a maintenance man but did not care to look up. Him and the earth were one. He was not breathing only for himself but for the earth also. Like a monk he let thoughts and words pass by him with no regard. Morton could sleep like a Samari and awaken just as deadly. He thought to himself, if someone decides to come walking about where I am out of the way here I will say, “Don’t bother me know, be on your way!”


Morton and the earth had rested long enough. He regained his muscle tension and turned to his side. There was a biography in his mornings Investors Business Daily newspaper that he would read. It was about George Pullman. It turns out that Chicago was built on a marsh and that the streets had to be raised. George devised ways to raise buildings on a whole acre of land while the people were still in them. The entire sewer system of Chicago was raised to allow waste to flow into the Chicago River and then Lake Michigan. Today the sewage canals were loaded with Asian Carp that threatened the great lakes. Morton remembered an article he had written in jest to the President a few weeks ago about how people from Milwaukee should man barges loaded with rocks and clay and plug the mouth of the Chicago River. Morton read further in the biography and was becoming sleepy from the sun and reading, it was almost time to pick his mother up from the physical therapist. He started to identify with the ingenuity of George Pullman and thought, that must be some kind of a screw jack based platform that could evenly and level raise such massive objects. As he read on he became more tired and saw that George had then went on to devise a way to make train cars that wend their way clackingly on the metal tracks easier to sleep in. Morton was distracted by a blade of grass tickling his left leg. It was more than a blade of grass, it must be a caterpillar. Morton looked down to his leg as he felt it brush him there twice more but this time further up his leg.




Morton’s chest spasammed and his reeled to his right, the noise coming from his mouth was a dull groan. Morton was instantly on his feet as he saw the Black Snake about a foot and a half long that tickled and teased him slither away quickly into the forest.


Jibber Jabber, Slibber Slabber, She liked to hop and skip and hippidy dip.

Thomas Paul Murphy


Copyright 2010 Thomas Paul Murphy



PS: When Morton got home that night on the News was a story about how Milwaukee was seeking to take legal action against Chicago to have its canals closed.

Fathers, Sons, Husbands and Daughters

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Fathers, Sons, Husbands and Daughters 07 05 2010

The teachings in the prose that follows employ the Socratic Method. Socratic Method teaches by asking questions. As you read these questions make a mental note of how you answer them. Sometimes an objection people have to the Socratic Method is that they do not feel they should have to answer questions. But it is the best way for them to confront their own ignorance. Often learning is a matter of drawing small ties to things you know already, in order to reach a larger understanding. Sometimes things we know already are false. Part of learning is the willingness to accept new ideas. This means listening. Listening means accepting that you do not know everything already. Many who cannot learn cannot do so because they cannot listen because it means lessening their ego. And they feel that means not having as great an opinion of themselves. It is that and unknowingly to them a form of disrespect to themselves and others.

What kind of father do you wish that you had? One that teaches you right from wrong? One that would spend time with you and take an interest in you? One that would tell you not to smoke? One that would tell you not to do drugs? One that tells you it is wrong to fixate on someone every waking hour of your life? What do you do if you had a strong father? Would you treat him with respect or try and destroy him? How would you treat a father that was not your natural biological father?

What kind of man do you seek to marry? Like your father or like the father you wish you had? Do you wish that your father did not abuse you? Do you wish your father did not abandon you? Do you accept bad things done to you? Do you accept bad things done to you because you feel you did not have any way to prevent or control them from happening? Does your acceptance of bad things done to you make it alright for you to do bad things to others? As you look at bad things that happened to you how would you seek to prevent bad things of that nature from happening to others? Do you even care? Or are you now the person who does the bad things yourself? Do you know right from wrong? Do you feel good things come from doing wrong and that is your justification to making others suffer? Or are you just jealous and envious and will not admit this to yourself as these are forms of self hatred?

Does your mother or wife have a bad relationship with her father or husband?

How does your father see that you develop as a person? Does he leave that up to someone else? No. Was your father one who was raised in an alternate family structure? Does he now choose to see that you are raised properly? Having been raised poorly does he know what this means?

Does your father leave your development up to anyone that comes along on the street?

What does your father think of you? Does he resent you because you are like him? Does your father truly like himself? If you feel he likes himself, do you think he likes others also? If in this case he does not like others, do you see this as a contradiction to him liking himself?

Is your father jealous or envious of your constructive accomplishments in life? Does he encourage you to take risks in life regarding your own capabilities? If you have risked nothing in life what have you truly learned? If you have risked nothing in life what can you truly teach?

Does your father ever truly praise you, “Nice work son!” Or does your father in effect say, “You stole good for the family today, have a smoke, our way is the only way.”

Does your father see to your safety? For instance does he have you use a chain saw or axe to chop wood or trees and not see that you protect YOUR eyes? Does your father make sure that you are not being abused?

Were you raised not to like women? Were you raised to hate your father and father figures? Do you believe in authority? Do you believe in God in heaven?

Does hatred or distance from your father cause you to seek a man that loves? In other words did your father raise you as a homosexual? If you were raised by a woman do you bear the common sense regarding the physical world that a man does?

Does your father seek to ruin others? Why is this wrong?

Does your father lead you be example? Do you accept your father’s behavior?

Do you recognize when your own father makes a mistake? How does your father own up to mistakes? If he is human, and I say this in slight, does he recognize his mistakes and try and not repeat them? Is it hard for your father to think that he has faults?

Is it too painful for your father to try and raise you? Thinking involves memory. Are your fathers memories too painful and therefore he cannot think? Have you ever seen children that are beat on the head for doing something bad? Does this cause them to associate pain with thinking? Can this reveal this reveal itself later in someone’s life? Does your father need a scapegoat to teach you how to learn? Do you need a scapegoat to learn? Are you your father’s scapegoat? Does your father live to point his finger in judgment of other and yet not have any true abilities of his own? Are you the son of another father that is lead to believe that he has no skills at all by someone as just described? You may have more skills and abilities than you ever imagined by comparison.

Is your father jealous of good work? What do you see that your father is envious of? Do you see his envy as a sign of weakness? People of all ages get snotty when their feelings are hurt. Has someone been snotty to you and you can’t imagine why? Most likely it is from envy and jealousy.

Do you become snotty and mean to other children that have more loving fathers than you do? As an adult are you like the spoiled child that does not let others play with his toys? Do you do this to make others jealous and envious of you in response to your own feelings of self esteem or worth?

Do you feel that your family wealth makes you better than others? Or are you jealous of children whose fathers have less money and yet love their sons and daughters more?

Do you recognize jealousy and envy in yourself? Do you recognize your own snotty reactions? Do you recognize this as a weakness? Do you recognize the behaviors they lead to?

Do your surround yourself with a peer group that has the same bad behavior as you do? Or do you surround yourself with those of the similar nature of envy and jealousy?

Do you know how to change your behavior? Do you know how to resist temptation?

Are you so jealous of the good works of others that you fixate on them in an evil manner? Can you not accept that you are not someone else? Do you know what a delusion is? Do you know how having one is destructive to yourself and others? Do you seek without willful intention to cause delusion in others about their self worth? Do you seek this in a positive sense or a negative sense? Do you seek to profit from a negative self image or delusion you created in another person? Did you give them a negative self image that is quite contrary to what they truly are? Do you enjoy doing this? Do you thrive on this? Your name is Satan.

This one is very important; do you know why delusions of yourself are unhealthy? Do you know when you are lying to yourself? You may have to search through the pains of your life to figure this one out.

How do you choose friends? Do you seek friends with better capabilities or abilities than you? Do you like to be at par with friends? Do you like to un-thoughtfully nick pick at friends? For example not try and think about why they make decisions the way they do but instead impose false idealisms on them.

Do you recognize when friends are detrimental to your development? Do your friends truly respect you? If they made you a criminal or conduct criminal behavior would you recognize it even then?

Are you a criminal that has not been caught? Do you know what crime is? Were you raised to respect the rights of others? Do you recognize other as having rights? Do you just see others as tools to further your life’s evil nature in terms of wealth and power? Do you drain energy from people in this manner? Is your true life’s religion one of witchcraft and demonic possession? If so do you seek to make someone need to use a psychiatrist as you seek to facilitate and maintain your delusion of self?

Why do you choose the work or profession that you do? Is it for status? Do your really do the work you have the title for doing in terms of the benefit to society that the job or profession represents? Did you just chose to be something because it is what your mother told you to be, and therefore you go to all costs to be that person even though you are detrimental to our society in doing so? Who in society are you trying to fool? Be honest with yourself when choosing a profession. The aptitude tests they give you in high school are pretty accurate. Do not try and stand in the way of someone that has the true aptitude that you do not. Do not destroy people of true talent and then feel that because you did so you now possess that true talent, you don’t, and you never will.

When you have done bad things what was your father’s response? Do you respect your father? Upon reflection due you respect your father or others for the times you were disciplined? Can you think of any time that you should have been disciplined that you were not?

Did your father try and prevent you from growing up to be a criminal? Do you respect the rights of others?

Was your father jealous of other fathers and snotty to them? Does your father recognize his own faults? Does your father his own limitations? Is your father like his father? Do you want to be like your father or someone else? Why? Would not you be better off by trying to be like your father but in a better way, in other words, think of some good there is in him and also think of the good you see in others as you age, try and be like that. And if you cannot think about one good thing about your father so be it!

What can you say about yourself as you think about your own behavior?

As an adult do you not feel comfortable in the presence of children because you were abused by an adult when you were a child? Or are there other adults, they might have been abused by an adult when they were a child, and they try and instill these feelings in you? Do you often see adults and think that they were bad children and are also bad adults and would not trust them with your children? Are you insightful with your analysis or superficial regarding the integrity and character of people?

As an adult are you complacent with those that abuse others and children? Do you as an adult seek to abuse children or adults, or adults just starting out and look for jobs and careers in society where you can do so with little fear of being caught or punishment?

Here is one of that most people are never aware of but is very significant and it is the true nature of Satan; do you as an adult seek that children abuse adults?

Did you grow up not to view people as equals? Do you not feel that all men and women are created equal under God?

It always amazes and then sickens me when I find out that people and friends I had as a boy feel that all men are not created equal. The reason they feel this way is because they are unable to learn and change. I have come to the position via rethinking that they were not raised responsibly. They were raised as scapegoat children. Children their parents had as a byproduct of life. That they were children raised on scapegoats. And children raised on scapegoats are indeed scapegoats themselves. I want you to try hard and think why this is true.

People that feel that all men are not created equal have so many faults and limitations that they think, self serving to their egos, there is no way someone, read scapegoat, could be so smart. In reality these people cannot confront their painful memories that prevent them from thinking for themselves. Memory is the basis of true learning. This also prevents them from truly believing in themselves. To form your own memories and learn from them as you think about them in life is a sign of great intelligence. Start by revisiting the memories you have. If they are not positive what constructive things can you learn from them? Let them form a basis for new life’s adventures and learning. As you go through life keep a list of the positive accomplishments and complements you have achieved and let them form bases for new life’s activities, instead of just rocking away in the chair gaining weight. Do not let impressions others have made unto you, through jealousy, stay with you through the years. I have explained these people already.

Always think in terms of what you truly love to do if you feel it was not your fault you were not successful at it, even though you are doing something else. If you have been tested fairly and are not good and what you would truly love to do, respect those that do it well, and find something else you love to do. Sometimes aspects of what your truly love to do are skills that are present or needed in many types of functions in society. You may find out some day that you fit the definition of a Polymath, or someone that is a professional at many things. I am going to be a little self serving with this next comment, Artists are our true Polymaths.

In reality people often cannot confront painful memories that prevent them from thinking for themselves. This also prevents them from truly thinking for themselves or believing in themselves. The reason for this being, they were put in a position of harm’s way or abuse of some form and are indeed not able to confront their abuser or rationalize there was nothing they could have done otherwise. Here is where guilt is a painful memory that prevents them from thinking for themselves. Should we feel guilty? I would argue that if we did not feel guilty for our actions we would not be human but something lesser. Are there things we feel guilt or shame for that we should not, because there was no way at the time we could have known to control the situation better? As you think of these latter events it might help to try and figure out how to truly prevent this from happening in the future or at least think of ways to support those who are going through or have gone through it.

If you do not believe in yourself are you destructive of others in return? Is not the biggest loser excuse you could ever think of in your life, “All men are not created equal?” Do you belong in this country if you feel or promote the construct that, “All men are not created equally?” Who else among you, besides your self do you feel does not have potential? Why do you project your negative self and the way you were raised on others? Why do you look down on those with more talent than you that might be working for you? It is in fact you saying to yourself, I was not born as good, so I should never strive to be better. The psychological term for this is learned helplessness. How did you learn helplessness? Were you raised via a scapegoat and therefore will never possess true leadership or sense of self.

What does your behavior say to others? What example of leadership do you set for others as you feel you are not created equal? This spells out the word loser to me.

If you think someone was created better than equal as compared to you, do you seek to victimize them?

Are you a man of the past, a boy that lives on the baseball field? Or a man strong for the future?

Do you revel in a childhood past you are comfortable with and not think of yourself in the present or future? Do you feel like life is over for you? What do you feel this way? Did your father or mother teach you to feel this way? Are you indeed looking at the lid of a coffin?

How has your father or mother truly helped you in life? Contrast this to how you feel your father and mother has helped you in life.

Who would you like to be and why? Remember from a prior article of mine you should never truly seek to be one person, because you might develop you didn’t know were coming. But instead ask yourself, what are the aspects of that person that I admire and how can I be like those aspects or character traits in my life? This type of analysis allows you to recognize change. If you know what is changing in yourself and why, you will understand yourself better. Go ahead examine your life. Do not be afraid.

Do you feel those raised to follow make good leaders? How do and should followers seek to be of independent thought from leaders? By ruining the leader, the one who feels he is not created equal thinks! Do not try and break that mold, or father figure, you might need that mold you seek to break in the future and later in life. Smile. I knew a terrible person like this, his motto in life was, “Anyone can be broken”. Do these words repulse you as they do me? He was a Republican. The way a follower truly becomes a leader is to think for himself, as I described in other parts of this article. Thinking for yourself involves trying to answer questions you yourself have thought of asking. Just because you think of a question to ask does not mean you should ask it, think how you would answer it first and then see if it is in the process of being answered. (This was covered in my essay, “How to ask a good question” published in one of my blogs under my index)

A word about changing your mind. Most men were taught to never change their minds when they were boys. This is easy way out thinking. Evaluating all inputs to the decision process leads to the best decisions, plans, implementations and procedures. Do not be afraid to rethink things and change your mind.

Are you taught to never question your father?

Do you feel that your father loves you? Why?

Do you feel that your father hates you? Why?

Are you taught to never question your mother?

Thinking might be painful for some of you probably got a good swat to the head for trying this. Now changing your world that would require truly independent thinking

What kind of person are you anyway? A mindless skull full of pain?

I am fortunate that I can say most of the good things I have written in this essay are indeed my father. God Bless Him, a retired teacher and my mother who was also a teacher.

Thomas Paul Murphy

Copyright 2010 Thomas Paul Murphy